Page 123

By Jack Joseph Smith

He came back with the two beers and as he sat down we began to face each other, before I told him of my thoughts. Daniel, did you know I was in South America. No, I didn't. I went with my father and his business friends. I think it was his last attempt to show me the pleasures of the business world. Tonight Daniel I am wondering what lies within. You have said good things. You have said things that are real for me. But what if I want to go inside that womans soul, and don't know how. I mean really want to go into her soul. The fragance is gone out of my life and castle dreams are no longer at my finger tips. The days of building immediate forts from the world are gone. Now is the time of decision. Am I alive or am I not. Where is eternal bliss. I see it nowhere. And it is not coming. The regiments have formed. The excuses are gone. I am running, because there is no reason to be where I am. Look around you say. So what? Death, I can see it. But how do I understand it. Not within me, I have already experienced it. The is no blossom waiting to open. No reason to play safe, nothing is coming. Maybe Christ anopther time. Beatniks. Neilests, every last one of them. I've been to New York too. They aren't living for anything, let alone now. And the Universitys. Christ should be the executioner this time. Spouting knowledge of Neitchi with lips that have never been cold. Maybe I am getting off of what you were talking about, but I'm not sure. Stay alone is what your saying. Be aloof. I can't buy it. And your right I have no business saying that, cause I can't buy myself. I live in a fat house with a pillow and clean sheets. What the fuck am I doing walking the forbidden streets with a lousy suit on,

Original Scan

Page 123

AI Interpretation

GPT

Back over fresh beers, Michael recalls South America with his father, rejects business-world pleasures, admits he wants to go inside his own soul but cannot, and spirals through death, failed bliss, New York, beatniks, universities, and the shame of roaming forbidden streets in a lousy suit from a fat house.

The voice is desperate and contradictory, wanting revelation while mocking almost every available language for it. Class disgust, spiritual exhaustion, and self-contempt all show through the same rant, which makes the confession feel raw rather than polished.

Claude

Michael answers Daniel's counsel with raw impasse. He raises the South America trip with his father's business friends - 'his last attempt to show me the pleasures of the business world' - then confesses the deeper want and its failure: 'what if I want to go inside that womans soul, and don't know how... The fragance is gone out of my life and castle dreams are no longer at my finger tips.' Decision has replaced fort-building - 'Am I alive or am I not... nothing is coming' - and he turns Daniel's aloofness back on him as unaffordable: 'I can't buy it... I live in a fat house with a pillow and clean sheets. What the fuck am I doing walking the forbidden streets with a lousy suit on.'