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The closing fragment reduces a whole life to one waking wish, leaving the sentence suspended before its object arrives.

Its incompleteness is part of its force. The line starts as a broad declaration about `my young American life` and then breaks off on `that`, so desire remains open, withheld, and larger than the surviving page.

The closing page breaks off mid-sentence: through my young American life I have wished only in waking, that, leaving the notebook ending on the open clause.