Better The Gain
By Jack Joseph Smith
By Jack Joseph Smith
Original Scan
AI Interpretation
A long recovery poem that weighs spiritual rebirth against sickness, lust, shame, and the temptation to remain trapped inside old forms of self-destruction.
Its movement is cumulative rather than narrative. The poem keeps returning to the question of whether a life can be remade without denying what it has already become.
The collection's longest poem, a five-page reckoning with sickness, sin, and rebirth in which the speaker wakes 'Between the new subtle / seconds of sickness / Replacing the madness' and chooses 'To reshape / and as with these words / To reconstruct my soul'. It moves from an addressee who 'may thrust the hour final' and may or may not 'believe / in God' toward a hard-won renewal in which 'the fist of self / has strength to finish up / and restart the eternity / of today', closing as 'Christ visited my four walls' and the speaker masters 'the truth / and beat a bully'.
This is a recovery narrative that refuses easy triumph and insists on honest accounting. The speaker names what cannot be willed away - 'the search for lust, / a courtship of decadence / Could not by will be stopped / or surgically cut' - then reframes survival not as cure but as the transgression having 'consumed itself', so that 'the concept / of a flat out living Hell / was dead first' and 'rebirth / was the day before'. The poem's instrument of healing is language itself ('as with these words / To reconstruct my soul'), making the act of writing inseparable from the act of recovery. Its five scan pages enact a vigil rather than an argument: it circles through 'right' and 'wrong', confession and the refusal to confess ('what I will not confess'), and arrives at a modest, embodied victory - releasing heart and soul 'long enough to muster the truth / and beat a bully'. Preserve source spellings 'oppisite', 'consquence', and the phrasing throughout.